Found it eventually...
For anyone who is looking for how to change the highlight colors, add the following Style to your resources and use the IsMouseOver section:
<Style TargetType="{x:Type xctk:SelectorItem}">
<!--<Setter Property="Background" Value="{DynamicResource {x:Static xctk:themes:ResourceKeys.ControlNormalBackgroundKey}}" />-->
<Setter Property="IsTabStop" Value="False" />
<Setter Property="BorderThickness" Value="1" />
<Setter Property="Template">
<Setter.Value>
<ControlTemplate TargetType="{x:Type xctk:SelectorItem}">
<Border x:Name="_background"
Background="{TemplateBinding Background}"
BorderBrush="{TemplateBinding BorderBrush}"
BorderThickness="{TemplateBinding BorderThickness}">
<CheckBox Foreground="{TemplateBinding Foreground}"
IsChecked="{Binding IsSelected, RelativeSource={RelativeSource TemplatedParent}}"
Content="{TemplateBinding Content}"
ContentTemplateSelector="{TemplateBinding ContentTemplateSelector}" />
</Border>
<ControlTemplate.Triggers>
<Trigger Property="IsMouseOver" Value="true">
<Setter TargetName="_background" Property="Background" Value="{StaticResource FocusColor}" />
<Setter TargetName="_background" Property="BorderBrush" Value="{StaticResource FocusColor}" />
</Trigger>
</ControlTemplate.Triggers>
</ControlTemplate>
</Setter.Value>
</Setter>
</Style>
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